Bargain Hunters for Homes. By Uncle Monty.

Bargain Hunters for Homes.

Story By Uncle Monty.

Photos & Graphic By Alex Albion.
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Orthodox Jews with their two curls of jet black hair

at the side of their heads along with them wearing

their Yarmulkes or Kippas. Traditional male Hindus

with their tightly-fitted white and maroon turbans

and Bindis or Tilaks on those of female foreheads.
Nationalistic African men with their native shammas

and antelope boots. Islamic woman wearing their dark

yashmaks or hijabs or khimars. And, stiffly married

English retirees with their plain hats and coy coats.

Such were among the motley crowd of Arabs,

Russians, Chinese, Eastern Europeans, and good-
ness knows who else, at the two property auctions

I have attended at the English capital to find out

what it was really all about for those
bargain hunters for homes.
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At first, I was surprised at the number of women

bidders present over their male counterparts. And, I

was even more surprised at finding some of the property

bidders looking so sinister, so seedy and so unsavoury,

that I would be almost scared of having as my landlord.

Their suspected traits of Rachmanism (Peter Rachman,

1920-1962) seemed to be their evident

characteristic to me.

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Most of the properties up for auction were hardly

grandiose. Many were located in the worst post codes

of inner and outer London and the Home Counties.
Some looked like derelict properties to me from the
photos I saw inside the two free property catalogues

containing 240+ pages between them. Others were

homes scattered largely out of town in other parts like
depressed Northern England, at far off flung hamlets

in Scotland, and at dreary former coal mining towns
of central Wales. Properties in other parts of Western

and Central Europe were also up for bids.
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The Property Auctioneers.

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A good many of the 500+ lots of dwellings or business

properties or open land among the two auctions I

observed were noticeably by Order of the Mortgagees.

While others came by order of various councils or housing

charities like The Peabody Trust. Some of the properties

I almost wouldn’t even want, even if they were free.

They were that bad to me. But those bargain hunters

for homes, nevertheless, soon snapped the up …

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I wasn’t sure if such were “bargains” or not, since I

know so little about property buying or real estate.

But I’m sure bad economic times, like now, bring out

vicious sharks to the property market to rip-off
those poor devils who have lost their own

homes due to their financial hardship.

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With thousands of mortgaged property owners in

Britain having their homes and businesses reposs-

essed at an ever rapid and alarming rate due to the

present all-embracing credit crunch and broken

financial markets, property auctions seem to be

booming for those who want or seek to buy cheap.

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Personally, if I had a spare couple of hundred thousand

quid, I wouldn’t even think of buying any property in

the UK. Such property prices are truly outrageous
and totally mindless compared to buying the same

or better properties abroad or in North and South

America. You almost have to sell your soul to get
on the property ladder in England thesedays.

And, you’ll never get any spare change from such

investment unless you’re one of those in the pro-

perty Big League or simply very lucky. In fact,
the individual, non-professional, property owner

seems to be losing, and not gaining, profit on their

investment or long standing purchase of their own

home in Britain of today. Rather, many are now
in negative equity if they’re still making inflated

payments on their fixed mortgaged property.

Each day seems to get grimmer for them.

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But those bargain hunters for homes may well

be at their hey and hay day, while rental pro-

perty is also booming because many folkz

have opted out, either by choice or force,

not to buy a house or business at

this time.
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Some of the bargain hunters for homes.

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Anybody who is a novice and planning to buy at

any property auction would be best to first attend

such auctions to get some clearer understanding

of the dangers and pitfalls inherent in bidding and

buying such property, like a house or a business

or land, by such a method.

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Read very carefully all the written instructions and

obligated requirements needed to actually participate

in those public auctions before you even consider

participating. Learn the legal obligations and pro-

perty jargon and all the financial and tax impositions

on you when buying at property auctions. Beware
that you could quickly become unstuck if you
make a property mistake that you’ll pay for dearly.

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Caution is the key word and property knowledge
is the best safeguard against making any future
error(s) when bidding and buying. Don’t, in other

words, become penny-wise and then pound foolish.
Auctions can gobble you up in no time, if you don’t

watch it. If you’re not in personal control, then

the auction will control you … The auctioneers
love those who they can control at their pro-
perty auctions above all else … It brings them

greater profits at the expense of such foolish

and ignorant bidders and buyers.
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One last word or so, DON'T buy any property

unless you've actually seen it to inspect it before

the auction no matter how dirt cheap it is or how

appealing it may be. Would you wed someone

you've never actually seen or looked at? Of

course, not. The same applies, in my opinion, to

buying property, a business or land or any-

thing ... Make sure you've seen it with your

own eyes, first. Another simple lesson before

the auction of your property dreams is to go

and visit as many properties that you can that

may fall within or near the scope of your de-

sired home or business or land. And, above

all make sure you have enough money spare

to be one of those future bargain hunters for

homes. If you don't have the financial resources

or means, don't waste your time at property

auctions for they'll bring you no good happi-

ness along with a sense of compounded

jealousy and even perhaps anger. Wait for

another day. The sunshine always comes.

sooner or later. So don't fret ...

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Perhaps then some rich unknown uncle or

aunt in America will pop-up from nowhere

and leave you in their will a nice homestead

at the Texas Panhandle or at the Prairieland

of the mid-West or perhaps even some

English cousin will leave you property in

the dulldrums of Dartmoor or Exmoor ...

Nice thought, yeeeeeeeeep?

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So, happy property auction days are here

again for those with good, old-fashioned,

cash in hand ... to bid their way all day

to their own hearts content.

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Cheers everybody, Uncle Monty.

+After Apostles Simon and Jude, 2oo8.
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