Xmas Critique. By Uncle Monty.

Xmas Critique. By Uncle Monty.
YouTube Video By
Richard van den Boogaard.
Xmas Photos By Alex Albion.
Richard van den Boogaard's "Merry Christmas London
2009" appears via his YouTube video, on this Christmas
Morn, with myself finally getting 15 seconds of "fame"
of some sorts for all the world to see me on ...
I must say that Richard van den Boogaard's YouTube
presentation of Christmas in London 2009 is a "jingle bells"
kind of piece that he has done rather nicely,videographic-
ally and, of course, with much of a xmasy dose.
London's St. Martin-in-the-Fields Carollers.
Lone Scotsman outside London's Charing Cross Station.
While on my way to London's Charing Cross underground
to participate in the annual carol singing to raise funds for the
Connections homeless centre at St Martin-in-the-Fields, I
saw the lone pictured Scotsman playing somewhat plaintive-
ly at the outside of the CX station. I couldn't resist giving him
a quid or two as I listened to his bagpipe music of Yuletide.
Inside the station there was the St. Martin's carol singers
with Roger Shaljean in charge. I got a charity bucket to
collect whatever I could for the homeless centre, which is
quietly Anglican without public fanfare. Roger seemed rather
aloof, I must say. When I went to shake his hand to say
"goodbye" at the end of the carol singing he failed to
look and to shake my hand as if I wasn't even there.
Then there was dear "Pooh," who for years has sang at St. Martin's
and who plays the Xmas tambourine, telling me her vexing story of
how she'd bought from a Big Issue vendor the current Paul Mc-
Cartney Christmas issue only to later find the female vendor had
cunning slipped in her shopping bag an outdated copy of an August
back issue instead of the Xmas one she'd happily paid for. The same
vendor had also demanded 10 quid from "Pooh," a retired lady
and devout Anglican, telling her she needed the money to help
feed her baby or something like that. Big Issue's Paul Joseph
called Pooh back and she said he apologised and was so nice.
I asked Pooh, if she thought the vendor was a Romanian
or an Eastern European foreigner?
"Probably so," answered Pooh.
Uncle Monty with a lovely St. Martin carol singer.
Richard is a regular St. Martin's carol
singer who shows his old fashioned love
for Father Christmas, too! Bravo!!
Two of Uncle Monty's Café Nero buddies - Robin and
Nicola - on Christmas Eve as they enscribed their Xmas
messages to him on the large cup of piping Hot Chocolate!!
So nice of them, I say ...
Fabulous was Xmas Eve for me with last minute Xmas folkz stopping to buy my Big Issue that totalled around 120 sold copies of mine. My big green jacket pockets were almost full of 1 and 2 quid coins, although I had my wheelie bag ready to also fill up with whatever coins the Covent Garden shoppers may have decided to give me more. On the whole, however, it was the quietest Xmas Eve I have ever seen in my past five there. When I counted all my change - with also a few but rare big quid banknotes - I tallied almost £350 for my Xmas Eve! Bravo! I manned my pitch from 7.00am to 6.00pm despite the earlier rain and the all day gray overcast sky that always makes London so dreary and especially on times like Xmas Eve. Yet even though I did okay, many Big Issue vendors didn't see much of a Christmas for them with poor sales and even poorer giving by the shoppers and visitors to Covent Garden over the past week leading up to Christmas Day, 2oo9. When I tallied what I had taken over my 28-day period of Xmas sales, I had taken £1,781 in all. That's stated not to brag but to tell you of what took place. While that is pretty good, it was poor compared to pervious Xmas takings I have at my Big Issue pitch. This year I didn't see the huge single donations - except for Jan Mol's usual and kind £150.00 donation to me - but rather alot more quids of small 1's and 2's. Of course, if one gets the volume of such, then it can soon amount to a tidy bit of welcome cash. Such helped to save my Christmas, if not my spirit or our Broken Christmas at Broken Britain of today ...
While overall, I still saw thousands upon thousands of
folks in London who refused to even give a dime at
Christmastide to Big Issue vendors. I also saw foreign
visitors galore, those cagy Orientals - Japanese,
Chinese, Koreans - by the busloads; along with those
god damn imposed Africans and menacing Muslims
upon us, who will not give a red cent let alone a word
of good cheer to those vendors trying to make a little
something over the Xmas period. For many vendors,
they just quit trying to do Christmas on the streets of
London. Many more head to CRISIS to spend Xmas
there with their fellow homeless and the vunerable.
Christmas is a cruel time for all too many people.
Out of luck, on the streets ...
By Steve Bird.
Yes, Richard van den Boogaard's Christmas "jingle
bells" on YouTube is all fine and dandy, but the reality
of Christmas in London isn't music to the ears of the
elderly, the lonely, the sick, the poor, the rejected, the
unloved, the homeless, the disrespected, the redundant,
the bereaved, the abused, the familyless, the marginal-
ized, and society's castoffs. Christmas for them isn't jingle
bells, it's simply living hell on earth!! The immaculate birth
of Christ Jesus is as remote to them as flying to the moon.
Sad, but true ... But if they embrace Him, then humankind's
earthly "Christmas" is basically trivial and nothing to have
missed or even to fret about with all the shopping bags and
obligatory Xmas gifts that amount to human gratification
and not the glorification to or for Him. That's why Christ-
mas is a kind of hell for many because we've grafted
commercialism and consumerism on humans among the
jingle bells of modern and meaningless Christmas. Once
things become less important in one's life, then the
celebration of the The Prince of Peace and The King of
Kings transcends our plastic ideal of Christmas that has
become more and more Christless in Broken Britain
with non-believers of every kinds now killing all that is
good and great about Christianity and The Nativitiy
of Him. Nobody, and no thing, comes close to the
holy birth of Our Only Lord and Saviour. Amen.
Some folks pray to see the end of Xmas for it brings no
joy, but pure pain, deep sadness and sheer emptiness.
It shouldn't be like that! Therefore, embrace Him.
Inside Café Nero with a bunch of Spanish
kidz visiting London at Christmas Eve, 2oo9.
Videographer Richard van den Boogaard at
Uncle Monty's Big Issue pitch a week or
so before Christmas Eve, 2oo9.


:: Feedback From America ::
Dear Monty, So good to hear from you, and to see your smiling face on YouTube. You look very well! Thank you for the Christmas greetings. Here in Northern California, in the mountains, we had a beautiful day. We spent it with family and friends, definitely the way to go. Had dinner with Heidi and Jim (Johnson) - you remember our Heidi? - the other evening. Hope you stay cozy and warm, and that the Nero folks keep you well-supplied with Orangina and coffee. Best wishes, Susan (Prince) . Re: UNCLE MONTY on Youtube this Xmas Day ... Date: Sat 12/26/09 04:38 PM.

The story caption photo is of Uncle Monty at his pitch with old friend Jan Mol's 7 lovely grandchildren visiting London from The Netherlands for Christmas while staying with their grand dad at Theatreland.

What else can I say, except "A MERRY CHRISTMAS" TO YOU!!

Uncle Monty. +Christmas Day, 2oo9.

~ Click on any image to Enlarge ~


Season's Greetings From Shambani. By Harry Atkins.

Season's Greetings From Shambani.
By Harry Atkins.
Dear Monty,
What is the collective noun for Kangaroos? I wonder.
I suggest a thump of kangaroos. I/We all hope that life
is going well for you. I'm not much good on my lap top
so I do not follow your colourful blogs.
Summer has come but we have a fair amount of water
stored. I wonder if you have been on any adventure
since we last saw you (in London last September).
Advent - how I loved that season as a child.
Perhaps you will be carol-singing at this season.
We hope that Christmas is cosy and peaceful.
Best wishes, Myrna, Harry, Rosalind and Perry.
Shambani, Mt. Barker, South Australia.
Dec. 11. 2009.
I received the above Christmas card message from my
dear friend and author Harry Atkins and his lovely wife
Myrna along with their family at Shambani, via Australian
Mail, on the Eve Before Christmas Eve at London, UK.
Harry is a devout Welsh Anglican and retired Kenya
schoolmaster and delightful Myrna is a Welsh Presbyterian.
Their daughter Rosalind is a registered nurse and her fine
husband Perry is a gym instructor. Shambani is located at
remote Mt. Barker in the wonderful Adelaide Hills at where
nature and animal-loving - horses, dogs, sheep, cats, and
of course, visiting kangaroos - are held in supreme respect
at the hobby farm of Shambani.
I shall always remember my stay there and hope that
one day I may return to such an earthly paradise that it
resembles so much for me in so many charming ways!
I happily send my best Christmas greetings to all at
Shambani and to all those good folkz and the eye-catching
kangaroos among South Australia's Adelaide Hills ...
Very truly, Uncle Monty.
+Eve Before Christmas Eve, 2oo9.
The above caption image of the Kangaroos is taken from the
actual Australian Xmas card sent to me by the Shambani folkz!
Some Xmas Gifts For Uncle Monty ...
and some nice cash inside Xmas cards!!
{Click on any image to Enlarge}


Broken Christmas At Broken Britain. By Uncle Monty.

Broken Christmas At Broken Britain.
By Uncle Monty.
Rudolph Photo By Alex Albion.
For many older folkz like me, the English Christmas of
today has become close to empty and almost meaningless
for many of us. We can hardly even say “Merry Christmas”
thesedays without the fear of being corrected and told to
say “Festive” or "Mid-Winter Celebration,” instead of
saying, like we always have of old, “A Merry Christmas.”
Nor can we decorate our Christmases like the past with-
out the mindless ranters of those who care more for the
religious or non-religious feelings of others, than
for Christian folks like us.
Tinsel Taliban strikes as Court Service
ban staff from decorations to avoid offence.
By Daniel Martin.
[The UK Court Service, by the way, is now packed with
immigrant-born and foreign-born court judges and employees,
just like is H.M. Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) with their huge
legal staff that New Labour has deliberately installed at all levels
of the British legal system over the past decade or so. Thus, such
helps to explain the reason behind the ban of English Christmas
decorations at where such non-bel
ievers, immigrant-born and
foreign-born staffers overwhelmingly tread!! They're another
reason why "Broken Christmas At Broken Britain" has become
so evident thesedays. We must always say "Ramadan," but
we're almost castigated for say "Christmas" as Christians now
in our own growing darkey and broken British society ...]
What we also see is how the secular, commercial, and
consumer forces have deliberately diluted the religious
meaning and the traditonal essense of Christmas forever
and, of course, for the worse. Many older people feel
Christmas has been hijacked in Britain for the sake
of greedy profits by godless profiteers and
anti-Christian heathens.
Late-19th Century English Family Christmas.
A clear sign of the broken times we're living in is
seen inside Broken Britain at this Christmastide
by the demand for special ambulances to treat ex-
treme binge-drinking by pre-teens to regular drunks
of the age forty something. Making merry was once
harmless fun with a drink or two here and there, but
no longer. Broken Christmas cries out loud with broken
people who wreak havoc where ever they go with their
dizzy hours of compulsive binge-drinking of just about
any kind of booze they can afford to lay their hands on.
Britian's "Nanny State" insists then on treating such people
at no cost to such bingers and drunks with free treatment
given of such foul people on the streets of London, and
around the country, at all hours of the day and night,
but most especially during the Christmas and New Year
period. Street violence and random muggings are now
part of the fallout from the binge-drinking culture of
Broken Britain. Bingers and drunks become easy prey
for the vile street muggers, roadside criminals, and
animalistic thugs that openly prowl without fear of
being caught or punished.
Look also at the London store windows and see the
tacky and piecemeal Christmas decorations that seem
almost done as a token rather than any desire to expr-
ess Christmas joy and goodwill. Covent Garden and the
West End brand name stores were once truly tasteful
and elaborate with Christmas decorations, and even
Christmas scenes, proudly displayed for all to see.
Now, the quicker they can get the cheap decorations
up and taken down, the better for the stores that no
longer want to spend time or money on doing fine
Christmas decorations. Plus, even the street Xmas
decorations border more and more on the secular and
non-religious depiction of Christmas that are almost
meaningless to the eye or mind. Such again symboli-
zes "Broken Christmas at Broken Britain," yet again.
English Xmas Postcard of 1950's.
And while news reports of this year's emerging
vogue of so-called traditional or "Heritage Christmas"
having come into play with recreating some of the old
Yudetide events of the past around the UK, the fact
still remains that all around us we see little more than
"Broken Christmas at Broken Britain" of today compared
certainly to Christmases now past of our present lifetime.
Indeed, the heritage Christmas is a direct result of
today's modern broken Christmas.
"Traditional Christmas is back in style. Past trumps
the present as Britons revive old celebrations."
By Vanessa Thorpe and Jamie Doward.
Aside from that, what makes Christmas broken is the
prevailing broken spirit and broken message of
Christmas for millions who claim to be Christians and
who seem to have forgotten that Christmas wouldn't
exist without the extraordinary birth of Jesus!! They
deny His magical presence and the reason why we first
celebrate Christmastide because of His Holy Name.
Instead, many have gotten caught-up in the secular and
consumer mechanics of Christmas over the spiritual and
emotional faith that has died in the souls and minds of
the people at this "Broken Christmas at Broken Britain."
'Sharp decline' in faith as number of Christians
in Britain falls to half.
Victoriana Christmas Magazine Cover of 1860's.
Standing on the freezing streets of London best gives
insight in the modern Broken Christmas as masses go
by and completely ignore Big Issue street vendors
trying to make alittle bit extra at this Christmastide.
The more Xmas shopping bags the individual has, the
more likely he or she will not stop and give alittle of
their riches to the homeless vendor. As the masses
walk on by, look at their hearts of concrete, their
eyes blind, their mouths sealed, their humanity
shuttered, their minds closed, their spirit dead,
and their souls lost. And brutally cold and im-
personal are they that have not been taught the
lesson of giving, especially at Christmas to those
who have the least. Lack of compassion for others
is what also produces today's "Broken
Christmas at Broken Britain."
Classic English Christmas Card of 1920's.
American Christmas Card of 1910's.

My Christmas Greetings, Uncle Monty.
+Last Sunday in Advent, 2oo9.
+Vigil of St. Thomas The Apostle, 2oo9.
Five Days To Christmas, 2oo9.
Eve of the Shortest Day of the Year, 2oo9.
Here's more of what I have to say about our
"Broken Christmas at Broken Britain" :-
Many London Councils, like the vicious Westminster Council,
now refuse to even recognise Boxing Day – the day after
Christmas Day in the UK – in order to impose traffic tickets
and fines on unsuspecting Christmas folks who park to visit
and shop at Covent Garden and the West End still thinking
it's free parking on Boxing Day. Such councils are close to
mafioso -in their lawless greed to extract every penny
they can by means of their tyrannical enforcement against
motorists who fall foul of their wicked parking rules that
are primarily designed with only one thing in mind - to
get more money from the motoring public by almost
any dirty trick or cunning means. To such councils,
they're saying to "hell with goodwill at Christmas!"
Godless greed is their motto and their vicious existence
inside Broken Britain ... How horrid!! They always im-
pose grief on the public with their mindless traffic
wardens who are basically the dregs of society.
Parking Goldmine lures fat cat enforcers
to Westminister. By Simon English.
Another sad example of "Broken Christmas at Broken Britain"
is the cold 600-word Big Issue piece entitled “Don’t screw us in
2010” by the one and only editor-in-chief John Bird. What a cold
unChristmas -message he wrote and published with only one
word of his that used the word “Christmas,” and only once, in
the last of the 2009 so-called Festive Issues of his with Paul
McCartney headlining the mag’s Christmas Interview. To
read John Bird’s utterly self-centred piece was like Christ-
mas doesn't even exist in his own unfeeling “Bird’s Eye
View.” How pathetic and how pitiful was his own empty
"Xmas" message!! Screw the messenger next, yep?
Irish Christmas Postcard, circa 1900.
Christmas: A Brief History.
It's Christmas time again, with trees, gifts and Santa
Claus. But how did we come to celebrate the birth of Jesus
Christ how and when we do? We take a look at some
key points in the history of Yuletide.
By Tom Chivers.


MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! From Uncle Monty.

From Uncle Monty
Tony Robinson, 63, pictured, is the British actor
and broadcaster of note. He remembers those
Christmases now past, I am sure. I encountered
him yesterday at his film location off London's
Drury Lane. Nice guy, I must say ... Although
one of my lady friends promptly described
him as an "irritating little man!"
But best of all from yesterday was Little
Arabella at age 2. She sparked Christmas joy
in me for one brief shining moment. When
she was gone, my sense of Christmas
faded all so rapidly, I must say ...
(Click on any image to Enlarge)


TIGER WOODS: The Rise & Fall of The One & Only Cablinasian. By Uncle Monty.

The Rise & Fall of The
One & Only Cablinasian.
By Uncle Monty.
Graphics By Alex Albion.
Born out of interracial wedlock of an African-American
male and an Asian female, world golfer Tiger Woods, 33,
was hailed as a model of lily cleanliness and capitalistic
success, both on and off the world’s golf courses, until
his hitherto unpublicized sexual philanderings and con-
suming fornification was recently exposed and laid bare
for all the world to see him for what he really is. For he
is little more than a sex fiend at the drop of a hat and
who doesn't seem to know how to keep his filthy hands
to himself when it comes to casual sex with at least 12
slobbering white women outside of his marriage.
Married to a white female European, Tiger Woods has
produced two kids from his 2004 marriage that is also
the product of yet another strain and mix of interracial
wedlock. Now his marriage looks like it’s on the rocks,
or between a rock and a hard place, after those white
women have variously offered their kiss and tell
stories about Woods' sex life to the world's tabloids
like America's "National Enquirer" and the
UK's "News of the World."
It's All Finished, Baby!!
Aside from being a sex fiend, Tiger Woods says he's
a "Cablinasian.” What? Did he say "Cablinasian" for
real? ? Yes, he most certainly did! So what’s this new
word and thing called “Cablinasian,” you may well ask!
Well, it’s what Tiger Woods repeatedly calls himself!
It means according to him he comes from a racial mix-
ture of “Caucasian, Black, American Indian and Asian,”
to quote columnist Ephraim Hardcastle's succinct
definition of Wood’s claim of being a Cablinasian.
Oh, Tiger Woods is also the world's one and only
Cablinasian Billionaire. And the first of its kind! But,
even that odd status he may very well soon lose ...
And what about his kids?
Are they then "Euro-Cablinasians," simply because
their mom is a Swede married to a Cablinasian? And what
if those kids of their’s eventually marry yet another racial
strain of perhaps say pygmy or latino or aboriginal? I
dread to think! Like Tiger Woods, Barrack Obama is also a
product of interracial wedlock of a black African father and
a white Kansian mother in Obama's case. I see interracial
wedlock is now ripe and rife in such Caucasian countries as
the USA and, most especially, in today's hideous multiracial
dictates of the UK. Mixed race marriages are ruining the
English race from almost recognition as Anglo-Saxons.
Although I personally think such should be outlawed or
curtained at the very least, I loathe seeing interracial
couples producing kids that don't know if they're white
or black or yellow or red or brown or something in bet-
ween. Nor do such mixed race kids know if say they’re
Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, Muslim or again something
in between. Interracial pairing produces mongrels, much
like dogs do, between themselves and so being pure bred
is becoming rarer by the day. The more sexually decadent
is a society, much like England, the more interracial dating
and courting goes on unabatedly and sickeningly thrives
with or without eventual wedlock. There won’t be a white
Briton left at the rate the country is producing mixed race
off-spings like ravishing rabbits with one in ten families in
the UK now of mixed race progeny. Furthermore, the
British state school system, especially in urban London,
is overwhelmed by mixed race infant and primary
school male and female pupils of the like never before
seen in the British Isles until vile New Labour began
its deliberate onslaught of mass immigration from the
Third World to Caucasian England at the behest of
Labour's abusive and socialist power of the past dec-
ade. Sex crazy Africans by nature will have sex with
almost any other race and such is evidenced by the
huge number of 21st century kids in Britain who dis-
play their half-mixed race and breed due entirely
to having an African male father or an African
female mother.
As for so-called Cablinasains of Tiger Woods' blood-
line, I suspect few if any exist other than him and his
kids. Thank God!! Although one bogus college in Lon-
don just bragged that it had foreign and immigrant
students from 85 nations on its class rolls. So maybe
there is a Cablinasian among them? Other than that,
how awful to have 85 nationalities in just one college
which shows how multiculturalism and multiracialism
has now gone completely mad inside the UK! Such is
beyond all good reason, except for the political and
leftist agenda of Britain's foul Labour Party that at
present holds its "red stranglehold" on Broken Britain.
Something needs to also be done to help stop the
interracial subculture from becoming more and
more the majority culture inside England and
else where across Europe and even in certain
race enclaves of America.
As for the sex problem of Tiger Woods', he has now lost
his resounding status as a wholesome and international
sports figure to millions of his golf fans of both the young
and the old. His commercial endorsements also seem
pretty shaky after all that has been revealed about his
extramarital sex flings. Worse still for him, he stands to
lose huge millions of dollars has the fallout of his moral
depravity still comes crashing down relentlessly upon
him. He's now a forever fallen golf sports hero. He is
unlikely to fully recover both on and off the fairway.
He's lost his best shot of his good life all because of his
sex flings being of his own heterosexual undoings and
not because of any flaws with his superb talent
and mastery of top pro golf.
So I rudely show the woman below as a white female
for a Cablinasian sex fiend like is Tiger Woods to have
perhaps another quick sex fling before he is rightly
divorced outright by his own ex-loving wife. She has
every right to tell him to go to hell and back as she
prepares to find a new life outside of her crumbling
marriage to the world's No. 1 golfer, who isn't such a
nice, clean, guy after all. No wonder our kids scoff at
what they see so many of their grownups do!! And
thus - "TIGER WOODS: The Rise & Fall of The
One & Only Cablinasian" - has now come to pass
so ungloriously for him at no matter what may
personally happen next for him ...
Child protection team visit Tiger Woods's home as spon-
sors abandon scandal-plagued golfer. By David Gardner.
How About Her For A
Nice Sex Fling, Mr. Woods?
Disgusted with Tiger, Uncle Monty.
3rd Sunday in Advent, 2oo9.
NB. Tiger's surname is given both as Woods
and Wood in news reports by the world news
media. I've mainly used Woods as his surname,
and sometimes Wood in photographic write
overs, for this blog story of mine about him.
And, Here's Yet Another New Labour Shocker ...
"Single mother of eight living in a £2.6m mansion -
so much for Labour's housing benefit crackdown."
By Emily Andrews.
(Click on any image to Enlarge)


TCWNN's Homeless Xmas Special. By Uncle Monty.

TCWNN's Homeless Xmas Special.
By Uncle Monty.
TCWNN Photos By Alex Albion.
Packed from wall-to-wall at London’s Only Connect
Theatre, the paying and supportive audience either sat
or stood in open awe and wrapt attention at the Xmas
Special of The Choir With No Name (TCWNN). Such
brought so much good tidings and great joy to one and
all of those so lucky enough to be present at the very
special homeless and seasonal event that was solidly
sold out long before last night's prime performance.
TCWNN's Duet & Full Choir.
And, for one brief shining moment there was
CHRISTMAS like it should always be as the 30-strong
homeless members of The Choir With No Name, or
TCWNN, gave their best renditions of traditional and
modern Christmas songs and seasonal musical fayre.
No Name Choir Member!
"I wish it could be Christmas every day," they
sang in pure harmony as the audience hummed
along in sheer Christmas delight! "Well I wish it
could be Christmas every day. When the kids start
singing and the band begins to play. Oh, I wish it could
be Christmas every day. Let the bells ring out for
Christmas," so the good choir sang so joyously
and out loud for us all to hear so proudly!!
TCWNN's Richard, 61.
Oh yes, with The Choir With No Name was
also The Band With No Name (TBWNN) that
saw talented keyboard player Adam Gray
(shown below) give of his best along with
his band mates Ben Reed, bass guitar; and
Jamie Crawford on drums. The combination of
the choir and band was like "sugar and spice and
all things nice" despite their insistence of having
"no names." Of course, their names are by
simply calling themselves "no names."
Thank goodness, however, Christmas does have a
beloved name. Although for some, "Christmas With
No Name" is how they want to treat such. But not so
by the all the guyz and galz present at the TCWNN
and TBWNN Xmas Special held at King's Cross.
They all seemed to love Christmas they did,
with or without a given name ...
At TBWNN's keyboard is talented Adam Gray.
She founded TCWNN did Marie Benton just 18 months
ago while she was also working in "the role of campaigns
and communications manager at the London-based home-
lessness charity of St Mungo's." Earlier, she had worked with
national Down's Syndrome Association. The rationale behind
Marie's concept of starting a homeless choir was simple - to
offer a positive distraction for homeless people from their life
on the edge of society. She's be very successful at doing that
in a very short time of the choir's existence with the name
"The Choir With No Name" coming about by accident has she
stated the choir had no name. A few weeks later, the choir
members voted overwhelmingly to stay with the unintended
name and so TCWNN was officially its name. The choir's
odd name has now struck, too.
Every Monday night, Marie and her devout and loyal
choir members gather for rehearsals at the Only Connect
Theatre and there they are fed a good, wholesome meal,
after they have rehearsed. "They sing pop, rock, soul,
gospel, reggae, musicals ... you name it, they'll give it a
go," stated the 8-page 2009 Christmas programme. It
should now add, too, that TCWNN also sings Xmas
songs and melodies as part of its growing repertoire.
To pay just 10 quid to hear and see them was the best
Christmas bargain in Olde London Towne! For me, I
was delighted that Marie issued me a complimentary
ticket to attend the wonderful event that I personally
was made so overjoyed by what I saw and heard at
last night's Xmas Special. One other thing about Marie
is her demonstrative conducting of the choir that adds
zest and character to the whole performance from be-
ginning to end. The way she twirls, twists and turns,
is something to behold for the roundly rythmetic
and hypnotic style that she candidly displays.
Two Lovelies Before TCWNN's Xmas Special.
But above all, last night's TCWNN's Homeless Xmas
Special was so worthy of being given an outstanding
prize for its great performance that hopefully will
come one day soon to The Choir With No Name.
Christmas wishes and kudos then to all who are in-
volved with TCWNN. They each deserve an award
of merit for what they have already done and
achieved as England's premier homeless choir.
Happily, Uncle Monty.
+Happy Hanukkah, 2009.
(Click on any image to Enlarge)


Then Came Billie. By Uncle Monty.

Then Came Billie.
Life With Big Issue Folkz.
By Uncle Monty.
Photos & Graphics By Alex Albion.
Every other word from out of Billie’s foul mouth was “fuck.”
Openly gay and lesbian, Billie even spent time with Gordon
Brown at No. 10, where she induced him to buy The Big
Issue that she has flogged on the city streets of London
as a badged Big Issue vendor for some years now.
Billie has also met Diana, Princess of Wales. She was on a
TV documentary series about homelessness, too. On top of
that, The Big Issue "big wigs" seem to think the world of
her. Billie is after all a great publicity prop for John Bird’s
money-making world of homelessness as the self-made
guru (and sometimes, "jackass") of The Big Issue.
So there I was today at the Big Issue's Covent Garden
distribution spot at where long-time distributor Sam
Woodlock seemed to be in a reclusive and bad mood
as she asked me mechanically what I wanted for
more copies of The Big Issue. She then wrote down
my badge No. 115 and my purchased number of
magz. She then further ignored me to delve back
into reading her copy of "The Sun" newspaper.
Sam had no time to speak to me beyond that.
Big Issue distributor Steve – or more correctly called
Stephen Farrell Wood (spelled with or without an hyphen
in his surname) - then served me. He’s becoming some-
thing of an unofficial resident poet, if you will, with
one of his latest pieces of poetry appearing again
in this week’s Festive Issue:

Tulse Hill SW2
By Stephen Farrell Woods
Sitting under a weeping willow
I do not pay for Apples
Ivy rampant adorns the walls
of my home.
I see faces in the leaves of
the trees.
Foxes parade up and down
Lanercost Rd, I
(and I suspect many more
Leave a little something under the
cover of dusk or darkness)
Squirrels do their squirrelly thing
in the back garden throughout
The autumn and winter months.
With 3 (or is it 4) canvasses
awaiting more, I go inside.
Inside I read, think, and with
a pondering reluctance paint.
Pages 48-49. Christmas 2009. No.
875. Nov. 30th-Dec. 6th, 2oo9.
No sooner had I almost finished with Steve and
Sam, then came Billie with her little black and white
dog. He's so intelligent and lovable he almost speak
does he. And like a Kansas tornado coming at you,
Billie is so hypo one could almost say the weather
drastically changes once she arrives on the scene.
She’s Hypo No. 1.
With her torrent of mouthy words laced with her
usual and unilateral conversation of “fuck” this
and “fuck” that,” Billie is far from bland like are
so many Big Issue vendors. She's got gusto and
determination that few of her fellow vendors can
compete with her. Billie is also becoming more of a
rarer breed thesedays of youngish female Big Issue
vendors seen selling on the callous streets of London.
Except, may I say, for the oldish and unpretty (dare
I say “ugly”) gypsies women selling The Big Issue at
London’s Kingsway, there seems to be fewer and
fewer sexy female Big Issue vendors on the
streets from what I can see.
Was He/She An Hermaphrodite Vendor?
While I was at the Big Issue’s Covent Garden
distribution spot, it was about as "unChristmas" as you
could get along with the disappointing front cover of this
week's Festive Issue with the five Nutty Boys, who are a
nutty selection for Christmas at the best of times. After
last week's sensational Bob Dylan interview and the front
cover of him that sold like hot cakes last week, the Nutty
Boys are about as bad as selection as you could get for a
so-called "Festive" issue. Next week, however, we have
George Michael making it back again, after he appeared
on the Christmas issue of two years ago, if I remember
correctly. George is usually a good seller for the Big
Issue vendors, but also especially profitable for The
Big Issue money makers who swim in big bucks and
plentiful Christmases at the expense of their poor and
under-rewarded street vendors. After George, we get
the Sir Paul McCarthy issue to round out vendor sales
at this Xmas season. Come New Year, everything then
tends to go dead for most of The Big Issue vendors. Plus,
it becomes colder and more wintery on the streets. That,
too, doesn't help and only compounds the problem of
poor sales and even poorer profit for the street vendors
all across the UK. So they need to make it during the
weeks climaxing in the celebration of the birth of Our
Lord Jesus. After that, they might as well go home,
but sadly all too many don't have that choice since
they are, of course, homeless no matter the seasons.
It's just too sad when you stop and think about it ...
After encountering hypo Billie, moody Sam, and poet
Steve, I then went back to my Big Issue pitch at Long
Acre with my extra purchase of 20 copies to sell to the
rather cold crowd that walked right on by and refused
to offer even the slightest smile or to utter a “Merry
Christmas” to me or to donate even a red cent. Of the
few that did, they were mainly those folkz who have
been customers-cum-friends of mine for almost 5
years now. It is those old customers for the most
part who make a vendor's Christmas come true.
Without them, the vendor can expect a bleak
Christmas at best and at worst a depressing
Yuletide ... And life with other Big Issue folkz
can also be grim for they themselves cannot al-
ways count on a good Christmas and, therefore,
they rarely give a damn for anybody else. In fact,
to witness modern Broken Britain is best seen from
the crude vantage point of the vendor on the street.
All that Christmas does, is to simply highlight and
exasperate all that is wrong and dreadful with multi-
cultural and multiracial England under vile New
Labour. Today's UK homeless are neither second
nor third class citizens, but rather fourth class un-
less, of course, they're anything but White English.
“Did you see, Monty, the new vendor outside at 90
(Long Acre)?,” I was suddenly asked by one of my
long-time customers as I settled into my usual pitch.
I then looked and saw a young fellow who I’d never
seen before with his green Big Issue badge dangling
on the back of his shoulder instead of on the front
of his jacket. I was none too pleased to see him.
Perhaps in his late 20’s with specs, I approached the
short Caucasian fellow with his high badge number of
5000 – yes, No. 5000 – and told him to stop badgering
the public into buying his copies of The Big Issue. I also
told him it was not a pitch at 90 and therefore it was
illegal for him to be standing there hawking his wares,
so to speak, at the huge office block of lawyers, business
people, diplomats, bankers, corporate personnel, and
noted stockbrokers, of which many I personally know
and who buy The Big Issue from me more
often than not.
He said he was told to set up at Pret’s that was on the
opposite side of the street. “No, mate, you’ve got it
wrong,” I told him politely but firmly. “That’s also an
illegal pitch at Pret’s,” I informed him and I then told
him that as a trainee vendor he was supposed to be
further down past the Covent Garden tube station.
He lingered on until two of my regular customers
confronted him with one saying that I'd been there
for years and he was unwelcomed to pitch his pitch
where I was just yards away from my own long-
standing pitch at Nero’s. I was going to go back to
Sam Woodlock to complain to her, but I realised
Sam wasn't in a good mood toward me for some
reason and so I didn't want us to have bad words
between us by complaining about the brand spank-
ing new vendor that was No. 5000. But after my
buddy John Annetts also spoke with the new bugger
No. 5000, he soon headed off else where to perhaps
learn by pain and pitfalls what life is like with
the other Big Issue folkz.
Perhaps he found greener pastures selling outside of
dead Dame Anita Roddick's famous invention called
"The Body Shop." Who knows or who cares? I sure
don't! I cannot stand these new son-of-a-bitches that
always popup near Christmastide to show their pretty
asses thinking they're entitled to something when they
are not ... A way and stray dog or cat is far more entitled
than them, so I think! Now if she's a pretty vendor,
okay! I don't mind her ... she can come at anytime!
And if you now wish, also read Anita Roddick quotes.
Then came Billie. But now she was gone or still
bugging someone with her usual "fuck" you ...
Excuse the language please, Uncle Monty.
+John of Damascus, 2oo9.
Above Caption Photo:
Billie Herself Dressed as Santa!
:: Story Update ::
After yesterday, I went back to the distribution
spot this morning to get more magz and to see
how Sam was. She was all fine and dandy unlike
yesterday!! I also told her about the new vendor
with badge No. 5000. She said to send anybody like
that to her, if they have a green (trainee) badge and
are in the wrong place or at some mispitch. That's
okay with me and glad Sam and I are in good
shapes like we should be. And like yesterday, I
sold out all my magazine stock again at my old
and own pitch at London's Covent Garden. Now
looking forward to the upcoming George Micheal
and Paul McCarthy issues set for sale during the
Christmas period for vendors to sell and hope-
fully make some decent money for a change. Oh,
I also didn't see sight or sound of Billie again
come this Saturday and Adventide morning ...
Kudos, Uncle Monty. Dec. 5th, 2oo9. pm.
:: P-O-S-T-S-C-R-I-P-T ::
Billy's Own Confessional Story.
By Uncle Monty.
Billy - whose name I purposely Americanised as "Billie" in
my own above story about her of 3 or 4 days ago - now
appears in the latest George Micheal edition of The Big
Issue (No. 876) that was released this Monday morning,
Dec. 7th, 2oo9, in the UK. Under the storyline of "Big
Changes," Billy proudly declares her own count of 96
criminal convictions to her British name!! Her story seems
to revel in sordid bravado and unashamed glorification of
her past life that resulted in her getting thrown out of her
home by her own mother at age 14, then stealing at every
turn to feed her drug addiction of crack and herion, and to
ultimately become an institutionalised homeless person
for years, there after, in London. Billy started to sell The
Big Issue 10 years ago and now attributes her "social
redemption," if you will, to the glory of the one and only
street publication that is TBI. Woooooow! On the next
page, Billy is then shown again with a donation plea from
The Big Issue Foundation - with its full page spread - to
get the public to make donations to it to help support
vendors like reformed Billy. Oh, boy!!
Aside from the two-year old regurgitated and identical
Xmas front cover of George Michael that's used and re-
printed again by The Big Issue for its present 2009
Christmas Bumper Issue, the story of Billy raises questions
of what is the real aim thesedays behind TBI? Is it to help
ex-prisoners and jailbirds first or to help those who are
purely homeless and not merely criminals? The fact that
a third of all Big Issue vendors are said to come from a
criminal background - or 1,000 out of say 3,000 vendors
- makes for depressing reading and public stigma, I think.
Also, does criminal and anti-social behaviour lead directly
to homelessness or does homelessness lead to criminal
and anti-social behaviour? In other words, which of
them comes first? You take a good guess, okay?
On reading Billie's or Billy's own confessional story, I was
amazed at the remarkable similarities between her's and
John Bird's own story of his past criminality, his past
Borstal incarceration, his past illicit drug use, and his
own later redemption to become a modern-day and
classic "Champagne Socialist" or a larger-than-life
capitalist that he actively portrays of himself today.
And like AJB has already done, Billy now plans to
write her own life story with the help of some ghost
writer. The exception to him is that I doubt Billy-The-
Vendor will ever become a swaggering money-grabber
like is Old Birdie. So, so much for Billie's or Billy's
confessional story of her's for now ... Excuse me,
but I might also just want to puke the next time!!
Coming in the New Year, 2010:
Dead Bird Walking. By Graham Walker.
Edited By Uncle Monty.
Photos & Graphics By Alex Albion.
Next: World Homeless Events for 2010.
Compiled By Uncle Monty.
Breaking New Labour's Stranglehold
on Broken Britain. By Alex Albion.
Also coming in the New Year, 2010.
(Click on any image to Enlarge)