FLOGGING THE BIG ISSUE ... NOT ALWAYS PRETTY!!

FLOGGING THE BIG ISSUE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE OF LONDON'S ALOOF HUMANITY, WHICH SUCKS WHEN YOU SEE EVERY DAY THOUSANDS OF COLD FOLKZ JUST WALK ON BY AND NEVER GIVE A DIME OR THOUGHT ABOUT ANYBODY BUT THEMSELVES.
THE KIND OF FOLKZ WHO RARELY GIVE ARE ODDLY VERY TALL AND VERY SHORT PEOPLE. THOSE WHO ARE EASTERN EUROPEAN OR AFRICAN OR ASIAN OR CARRIBEAN IMMIGRANTS DON'T BUY THE BIG ISSUE NOR DO THEY GIVE TO VENDORS. THE POLES TEND TO SEND WHATEVER MONEY THEY EARN IN ENGLAND AND/OR EIRE TO THEIR POLISH FAMILIES FIRST. THEY SENT LAST YEAR SOME FIVE BILLION -- YES 5 BILLION -- POUNDS TO POLAND FROM ENGLAND ALONE. NO WONDER WE HAVE A HUGE SHORTAGE OF FIFTY POUNDS NOTES THESEDAYS BECAUSE THE POLES SHIP THEM TO PLACES LIKE KROKOW AND OTHER POLISH CITIES IN BULK.
AREN'T WE ALSO SHIPPING OUR NATION'S WEALTH WITH SO MUCH MONEY TO ANOTHER FOREIGN COUNTRY? NOT TO MENTION THE POSSIBILITY OF MONEY LAUNDERING RIGHT UNDER OUR OWN NOSE! OTHERS WHO DO NOT GIVE ARE PEOPLE MUNCHING ON FOOD AS THEY WALK BY. THEY'RE TOO CONCERNED WITH FEEDING THEIR OWN BIG BELLY AND NOT THE BELLY OF SOME POOD DEVIL TRYING TO MAKE A FEW QUID BY SELLING THE LASTEST EDITION OF THE BIG ISSUE ...
SO WHO GIVES? FOR ME, I FIND YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMEN IN THEIR LATE 20's and mid 3o's WHO GIVE REGULARLY AND BUY
WHAT VENDORS HAVE TO SELL. OLDER WOMEN IN THEIR LATE 5o's and early 60's TEND TO BE "MOTHERING" AND SO GIVE, TOO.
LAWYERS -- OF WHICH AT LEAST 15 percent ARE MY REGULAR CUSTOMERS, I WOULD SAFELY SAY -- GIVE GENEROUSLY TO ME AND
SO DO FOLKZ FROM THE ROYAL BALLET AND DOZENS OF BUSINESSMEN AND WOMEN STOP BY NOT ONLY TO BUY MY MAGAZINES
BUT ALSO TO CHAT AT LENGTH WITH ME ONA BROAD RANGE OF TOPICS FROM HIDEOUS TONY BLAIR TO BRIGHT BIG ISSUE CO-FOUNDER JOHN BIRD, MBE!! WHEN YOU'RE A VENDOR ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT THOSE WHO WANT THE LEAST GIVE THE MOST
AND THOSE WHO WANT THE MOST GIVE THE LEAST. IF YOU'RE GIVEN A 20 quid note, YOU'LL FIND THE PERSON WANTS LITTLE OR
NOTHING IN RETURN. NOT EVEN A MAGAZINE, WHICH THEY SAY KEEP AND SELL TO SOMEONE ELSE. WHILE THE OTHER TYPE
WHO GIVE YOU A MERE £I.50 FOR A COPY CAN BE FUSSY AND DEMAND YOU GIVE THEM NOT A PENNY SHORT THAT YOU
OWE THEM IN CHANGE ... ONE TITLED WOMAN CAME AND DEMANDED I CHANGE HER £50- note FOR ONE LOUSY COPY OF BIG ISSUE!
WHEN I TOLD HER I COULD NOT CHANGE IT SHE BECAME IRRATE AT ME ... SHE THEN SNOOTLYASKED ME: "AREN'T YOU IN
THE BUSINESS OF SELLING MAGAZINES? I SAID: "MOST CERTAINLY MY DEAR, HOW MANY COPIES WOULD YOU LIKE?" SHE FIRED
BACK AND SAID: "YOU'RE RATHER CHEEKY, I MUST SAY." INDEED MY DEAR, I SAID TO MYSELF ... I THINK SHE WANTED EARLY MORNING CHANGE FOR HER PARKING METER ... I WAS GLADD TO SEE THE BACK OF THE TIGHT-FISTED BITCH ...

I WILL WRITE MORE ABOUT SELLING THE BIG ISSUE, SINCE ONE OF MY YOUNG CUSTOMERS ALEX PRIOR SAYS THAT FOLKZ WOULD
PERHAPS LIKE TO READ ABOUT SUCH THINGS. I THINK ALEX MAYBE RIGHT. IF I'M WRONG, I CAN ALWAYS BLAME HIM! BY THE
WAY, I DO ALSO HAVE A FAIR NUMBER OF YOUNG FOLKZ -- RANGING IN THE 20 something age group -- WHO BUY AND GIVE. BUT SUCH IS THE EXCEPTION AND NOT THE RULE I THINK FOR YOUNG ADULTS AND CERTAIN COLLEGE STUDENTS AND THOSE TYPE WHO SEEM NOT TO HAVE BEEN REARED TODAY TO GIVE TO THE HOMELESS OR THOSE SEEN BY THEM AS STREET RIFF-RAFF. PITY!! SO FROM WHAT I SEE AS A VENDOR ON THE STREET IS HOW I JUDGE WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON THE PUBLIC STREETS OF ENGLAND'S CAPITAL CITY ...

LET ME ALSO TELL YOU WHAT HAPPENS SOMEDAYS ALL TOO OFTEN WHEN I EARN ABOUT A QUID OR 2 US BUCKS AN HOUR BY TRYING TO FLOG THE BIG ISSUE AT MY PITCH, WHERE I HAVE BEEN NOW FOR MORE THAN TWO YEARS. SOMEDAYS ARE SO PITIFUL ONE WONDERS HOW SOME VENDORS CAN EVEN BUY A CUPPA OF TEA LET ALONE BUY A SANDWICH TO EAT DUE TO SUCH POOR STREET TRADE!! OTHER DAYS IT SEEMS MONEY IS GROWING ON TREES -- ESPECIALLY AT CHRISTMASTIDE -- WHEN I FIND MY POCKETS BURSTING WITH ALL THE 1's, 2's, 5's, and 1o's FROM SUCH CHRISTMASY PEOPLE. BUT GENERALLY, I THINK , MOST VENDORS ARE HADICAPPED IN MAKING ENDS MEET BY SOLELY SELLING THE BIG ISSUE UNLESS THEY ARE SKILLED AT SELLING
OR HAVE BUILT-UP, LIKE I HAVE, A GOOD CUSTOMER BASE OVER THE YEARS ...
AS FOR THE BIG ISSUE MOTTO: ''STREET TRADE, NOT STREET AID'' I FIND IT IS A RATHER ODD MOTTO TO ME ... BECAUSE YEARS AGO IN LONDON ''STREET TRADE'' REFERRED SPECIFICALLY TO MALE AND FEMALE PROSTITUTES PLYING THEIR SEX TRADE ON THE DIRTY STREETS!!! I THINK THE MOTTO SHOULD READ SOMETHING MORE LIKE: ''BIG COMMERCE FOR HOMELESS TRADERS.''

NOW THIS LITTLE QUIZ I AM ABOUT TO PRESENT HERE IS SIMPLY THIS: ''WHAT DOES THE COVER OF THE WEEKLY BIG ISSUE NEVER HAVE THAT ALL OTHER MAGAZINES FOR SALE ALWAYS DO HAVE?'' SEND YOUR ANSWER(S) TO MY BLOG ... OK!!
alex albion for thebiggerissue.org