My Ideal Home. By Uncle Monty.

My Ideal Home. By Uncle Monty.

Photos By Alex Albion.
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Late next week begins the 102nd Ideal Home Show at London’s
Earls Court for a full fortnight. Then on the March 22nd at the

show itself, TROOPS DAY is also to be held there to raise needed

funds for our injured guyz and galz serving in our British military

war zones. I shall certainly, in any event, attend TROOPS DAY!

www.soldierscharity.org/

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But for now, with or without all the swanky and expensive items

for today’s British home, I prefer my ideal home to be made of

things of old and adored with craftsmanship that is rare to find

thesedays at furniture stores on the English high street. There’s

a saying that things new are better than old and that people are

better when they are old rather than young and new. I think,

however, that people and things are both better when they’re

old. It’s all, of course, to do with personal taste. What they call

fine new furniture, is to me little more than gloried and costly

modern junk that seems to be designed with in-built

obsolescence from the word go. That's why I prefer old,

antique furniture over the new and mass produced.
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Showing Part of My Sitting Room

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When I moved into my Sheltered *Idlewild House 4 years ago,

I didn’t have one stick of furniture in the unfurnished abode for

the elderly like me. The problem was quickly resolved, however,

with friends by the dozens donating pretty much what I needed.

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The rest I scrounged or bought at car boot sales and charity

shops, which I now avoid like Oxfam that refuse to reduce their

prices for old age pensioners. Yet, Oxfam raised around 10 million

dollars last year just on the sale of books, cds, vinyl records, and
used paperbacks of which all were freely donated by the duped

public. I find most charity shops are a waste of time (and money)

for the kind of things I love like antique furniture, old coins, estate

jewellery, and oil paintings, etc. Indeed, the best stuff that most

charity shops get don’t even get to the shop shelves because they

have private wheelers and dealers being served privately by them.

And, all too many charity shops in the UK (or called Thrift Stores

in USA) are full of the same trashy and useless knick-knacks that

only an idiot would want buy ... Most are worthless pieces of junk.
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Another View of My Sitting Room

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My bedroom (shown below) is sparse and simple. No fancy

Queen-size bed or water bed to sleep on. Mine is more a cot

than a bed, I guess. But, that's fine with me. I sleep well on it
and I wouldn't want to upgrade to something big and showy.

No, sir. Give me a practical pillow and clean bed sheets and I

can sleep soundly without any further ado. I sleep, after all,

for little more than 4 to 5 hours at night. That does me fine!

Whatever, I sleep well no matter what.

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My Sparse Bedroom.

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My kitchen (shown below) is compact and rather small

as kitchens go, but I get invited out quite abit to sup with

friends or to have lunch at The Strand and elsewhere with my

good friends like Colin Campbell, Heidi Johnson, Arlene Browne,

Bronwyn Curry, and Elizabeth Middleton, whenever they’re

in Olde London Towne. Generally, I buy pre-cooked chicken,

and cooked Argus meatballs along with buying fresh haddock

and a variety of soups. Such doesn't require one to be any kind

of cook and least of all to be a hotel chef to feed one's self. In

my little kitchen, I oftentimes talk or sing to myself with my

many cuppas of good Irish and Welsh tea that I so enjoy.

I neither smoke, drink nor take illicit drugs, so my home

is always neatly taken care of and is smoke, alcohol, and

drug-free at all times - period. Smokers, drinkers, and

dope heads are not at all welcome at my ideal home.
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My Compact Little Kitchen.

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Part of my bedroom is set aside (as shown below) for my

PC, Dell laptop, HP printer, and my Sony digital cameras,

etc. The problem with having such in my bedroom means

I spend too much time on writing my blog and editing

photos and dealing with e-mail that seems to grow daily

thesedays to as many as 60 e-mails each day ... With my

PC and laptop always at the ready with my mobile dongle,
which mean I no longer have to endure dirty, crammed,

and smelly internet cafes, except when I am abroad or

away from home which happens quite often. My digital

stuff is now part of me, although I don't have a cell-

phone or car or plasma TV in order to keep personal

costs down and to control one's monthly expenses.

If they need me they can always e-mail me

or come knock on my open door ...
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Some of My Digital Stuff!

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For my ideal home, I'd loved to have some old Oriental

rugs, that, however, I cannot possibly afford to buy.

Vexingly, my abode is carpeted wall-to-wall through-

out my five rooms and fine antique rugs simply don’t

fit nicely on top of newish carpetting at my sheltered

home. My favourite fine Persian rugs can run into the

£1000's or even tens of thousands. Tabriz Mahi, Birjand,

Ferahan, and Tribal rugs are just a few of the many names

given to Persian and Oriental rugs that are made of silk or

wool, and of quality dyes. Handmade rugs are the best,

but to learn the difference between an handmade rug

and a machine made one is of prime important since the

two can vary in price by $1,000's. Also, before buying a

Persian or Oriental rug, make sure it lies flat out on the

floor before parting with your money. A rug that curls or

lays uneven is not the best. The flatter the rug the better.

Also, the higher the number of knots used in making the

rug will determine the price and quality of it. Daniele Gair

also offers insight into the rug lore of Persia or now known

as Iran: "Surprisingly, a fine Persian rug will almost always

include intentional imperfections. In fact, there's an old

Persian proverb that says, "A Persian Rug is Perfectly

Imperfect, and Precisely Imprecise". This notion of

intentionally including slight and minor irregularities is

derived from the religious belief that God is the only

perfect being and that attempting absolute perfection

would be claiming the position of the Almighty."

http://www.spongobongo.com/Oriental_Rugs/Persian_Rugs/Persian_Rugs.htm

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Small, oblong, Persian rugs are also used as prayer mats in

many Muslim Mosques and Islamic homes around the world.

As an avowed English Anglican, I would, however, like to have

such a prayer mat just to simply have one at my ideal home.

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Beyond wishing to acquire such fine rugs, the basic cost of putting

together the things I like at my ideal home has been remarkably

cheap. Perhaps over the course of 4 years, I’ve spent little more

than £175 per year to furnish as tastefully as I can my present

home at where I now securely live.

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The only thing I don’t like at my 32-unit sheltered abode,

aside from the wall-to-wall machine-produced carpetting, is the

ever growing number of elderly immigrants, refugees, asylum

seekers and EU foreigners being housed at ever greater numbers

at the three floor unit. It seems as soon as an elderly white resident

kicks the bucket, the place is then quickly handed over to such new

comers to the UK. Indeed, the ghettoization and foreignization of

Britain under relentless New Labour’s extreme socialist agenda of

massive and destructive immigration is clearly evident just at such

an elderly shelter at where I am. Soon, they’ll hardly be a white

resident, or a true Brit, at the rate they’re being disposed off and

replaced by the hideous emergence of multicultural and multi-

racial folks of which I never asked for or even voted for under

vile Blair, Straw, Brown, Harmon, and their whole gang of leftist

loonies inside Broken Britain of today. I detest the very sight

and the very sound of the whole bloody lot, I really do.

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As for my ideal home, it isn't packaged by some paid jerk

at some professional home show. No, it isn't! Rather, my

home expresses my frugality and practicality along with

my own sense of traditional decor and life-time taste that

is old-fashioned I can proudly state without stopping to

"keep up with the Jones." The Joneses leave me cold,

anyway!!

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In some ways, The Ideal Home Show exploits those

who insist on needlessly "keeping up with the Jones,"

instead of being unapologetic for liking things that aren't

"chic" or "in" much like me. If I was ever given a free

£1,000 shopping spree, I would much prefer the cash

than grabbing stuff I cannot use, or even want, at some

boring showroom of new and tacky things ...
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"My Ideal Home," I have already got and I have no

plans to move any time soon to a big mansion or grand

palace at my feet. So, "I'll be seeing you in the all the

familar places" as always is the case with me ...
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Cheerz everybody, Uncle Monty.

+St. Felix, Apostle to the Angles, 2010.

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*The name "Idlewild House" is used instead

of its real name for good reasons of privacy.
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Here's Yalin Caglar With The Afghan.

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:: Now For Those Upcoming New Stories ::
Coming sometime after Eastertide, is Graham

Walker's devastating 2-Part article on Big Issue's

John Bird. He, Bird, has described Walker's

articles as a "character assassination."

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And then, again after Holy Week, we have Big Issue's

Tom Woodlock, who is shown below from Alex Albion's

webgrab image of him! Be quite surprised for it is the

shortest story I have ever written about anybody or

anything. My story on Tom will follow shortly after

Graham Walker's 2-Part article called "Dead Bird

Walking," which I have now edited for online

publication at thebiggerissue.org ...
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Big Issue's Tom Woodlock in Uncle

Monty's "What I Was Told About Tom!"

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Inside the world of Obama's US Secret Service bodyguards.

By Ed Pilkington.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/mar/08/obama-secret-service-bodyguards

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