1/11/2008

His Head Was Like A Boiled Egg Was The Pipsqueaker At Diana & Dodi Inquests: 2 of 3.

Among the majority of the 20 ticket
holders to the coroner's hearing today
came a dozen or so aloof old matrons and
sexless spinsters with an open aversion to
male company or even speaking to them
like me. They spoke in hurdy-gurdy tones
to each other and refused to be socialable to
all others around them. But the pipsqueak-
er with his pathetic propensity to speak so
squeaky was the most annoying to me. He
has attended the Diana and Dodi Inquests
every day since they first began back in
October, 2oo7. I was convinced he was living
on job seekers allowance or claiming disability
benefit from the way he came over ... Worse
still, he had his egg-boiled face painted with
large capital blue letters on his forehead and
under his eyes: DIANA AND DODI. If only
the jerk could see himself for the weirdo
he really is, then he'd go and wash his ugly
face right away. That's the problem with
such high profile events like the Diana and
Dodi Inquests is that they tend to attract
some of the weirdest oddballs around ...
They're there for gratuitous attention and
little else ... No wonder the pipsqueaker's
head looked like a boiled egg. I just wished
I could have cracked it right then and there.



Ex-BBC reporter Micheal Cole, now Mohammed
Al Fayed official spokesman, didn't sit well with
Lord Justice Scott Baker, who is Her Majesty's
presiding coroner. His Lordship didn't much like
the spokesman's PR manner nor his lobotomy of
loquaciousness. Nor did I ...
Micheal Cole seemed at first to be a courtly figure
sitting all grandiose at the witness table with his
boss Al Fayed, the elder, just feet away from him.
Yet he, Cole, was so vain and so verbose I suspect
the jurors, like the coroner himself, soon tired of
him much like myself. Counsel for the Inquests,
Nicholas Hilliard, pointedly asked Michael Cole
why it was that Mohammed Al Fayed had never
mentioned that Princess Diana was pregnant
with his son's child at the beginning days after
the car wreak inside the Paris Tunnel; nor that
marriage was in the making and nor that Prince
Philip was somehow behind plots to kill Diana.
Being as he is the all skilled shyster PR man,
Micheal Cole glibly answered it was an Al
Fayed "family matter." He answered the
questions, but gave few real answers at the
Inquests. He would smile his PR smile, but
it seemed so deadpan after he'd shown his
bright white teeth with cued theatricality.
His greying hair had all been elegantly cut
and all so coiffure ... His thick black-rimmed
bi-focals he took off and on with demons-
trative showiness and at one point took his
blue hanky and breathed on his specs to
clean them for us all to see. Michael Cole
was at best a B-rated showman and at
worst a complete jackass ... If that's the
best spokesman Al Fayed can come up
with, then perhaps I should apply for the
job myself ... Heaven forbid ... Lanky with
huge hands and a large cranium, Michael
Cole was not only something else inside
the coroner's court, but also outside when
I caught him with my cameras after he'd
finished his 150 minute testimony at the
High Court. As other news photographers
got his mugshot, he was now like a biting
bat doing aerial sommersaults in the night
as he tried to grab the first taxi to avoid
the likes of me with my flash cameras. I
still got him at least three times despite
the pouring rain and his lucky taxi ride.
The Diana and Dodi Inquests will not
conclude for at least a couple of month
from now. I'm wonder if Prince Philip
will testify for I think he should defend
himself under the grave circumstances
of the couple's savage deaths and
questions of him being somehow in-
directly involved with their tragic
and untimely demise. At age 85 now,
I think he needs to speak his mind
before he dies of old age ... If he does
finally testify, I will be sure to return
to the High Court to hear what he says
of Diana and Dodi ... It could be pretty
explosive, I suspect, knowing how Philip
doesn't mince his words or apologise for
what he says ...
Next is Part 3 of 3: "No Whisper
Yet About That Diana Look-A-Like
At The Inquests."
Kudos everybody. Monty.
+St. Brendan, 2oo8.

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